The second pickup from the Brooklyn Park Hodags, Jared is a pitcher with an intimidating goatee. It makes him look like a pirate. The mean kind, not the Gilbert and Sullivan kind. You know what’s really cool, that Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. It’s so awesome that they have made three movies based solely on that ride that have grossed like a zillion dollars. Yep, people love pirates. And that’s why we love Jared.